Fur babies, or how we humanise our dogs

As a multi-dog owner, I often get asked "how are your fur babies?"

The truth's out: I dislike the term fur babies. It makes me cringe.

Call them anything else —

• my pack of dogs
• my bunch of collies
• my family
• my group of nutters

— anything but fur babies.

They are dogs, not babies. But it's not this fact that makes me wince. It's the way the term itself seems to imply that the dog is a human, that it's just the fur that makes them look different to Homo sapiens, that they are just like us!

I'd like to say that me living with an equal number of other humans as I have dogs would send me running to the hills.

People and dogs have lived side by side for many years, but we are still two completely different species. We share some common traits, and we have a more advanced way of understanding each other than any other two species on the planet. BUT they are still dogs and we are still human, and we should not try to change that fact.

Granted, some breeds lend themselves to being humanised more than others. Small dogs are more likely to be carried around and used solely for companionship. Medium and large sized dogs can be used more for work, sport or guarding, and are less likely to be found in a pop star's handbag.

I am the first to admit that I call my dogs many affectionate names, and I do talk to them as if in a human conversation.

But no matter how many times I have said "come on then my beautiful baby, let's get in the van and we can do some agility and you can show how super perfect you are and everyone will think what an awesome, clever, superstar, babba, cuddly nose, chicky pie, love bunny, sweetie, snog monster, fluff bum pup pups you are" — both I and my dogs know that they are canine, and that's not going to change no matter what I call them, and no matter how many times I kiss their heads and cuddle their bodies and tell them I love them.

A human in a fur coat

It seems very much to be part of our nature to humanise the world around us in certain situations. Whether telling the kids that kicking the post-box will make it very sad, or claiming that the car deliberately had a puncture because we accidentally scraped the paintwork on the neighbour's gatepost. But with dogs it's different. No other animal receives this accolade of being "a human in a fur coat".

Cats are obviously well loved and people take very good care of them, but they are still cats. People love their horses and sometimes attribute human emotions to them, like happiness or worry, but they are still treated like horses.

Dogs are the chosen species. Whether this is due to the close relationship we have had with them for such a long time, or maybe to their adaptability to fit in with our lifestyle and human needs. Maybe it's simply because we as humans need to feel appreciated.

You've had a bad day at work, it's raining and you tripped over running to catch the bus. You arrive home late only to be greeted by your partner complaining that the milk's gone off. And then, your big daft Labrador comes running into the room carrying a mouthful of tennis balls, jumps up and gives you the biggest slobbery kiss. As tennis balls and slobber fly around, you instantly feel a multitude of human emotions.

• Affection
• Understanding
• Love
• Laughter
• Care
• Adoration
• Friendship
• So many more

He must feel them too, right?

So, if your slobbery Labrador can inflict these emotions, then surely, he must feel them too, right?

Dogs are very clever — all animals are, but dogs I feel are one of the cleverest. After all, they sleep in our beds, eat our food and pee up our car tyres, and we let them. I very much doubt many of us would accept another member of the human race doing the same, whether family or not.

Do they know how clever they are? Maybe not. But can they learn and adapt from our reactions to their "cleverness"?

Oh yes, they can.

Think of some of the less desirable traits of humans:

• Being manipulative
• Being an opportunist
• Being a narcissist
• Being selfish

Dogs are all these — they just are not aware that they are.

The term narcissist comes from the Greek story of a young man called Narcissus who fell in love with his own reflection in a mirror. Many a TikTok video has been made of dogs' reactions to seeing themselves in mirrors. It makes us laugh out loud.

We see these traits as more acceptable in our dogs than we do in each other. No one wants to be manipulated, and no one should be. Yet without knowing, we sometimes allow our dogs to manipulate us.

• Those big eyes boring into our souls
• That head tilt that makes them look so cute
• That look of "aww, just one more" when they bring the tennis ball back for the umpteenth time

Dogs have learnt that the wide-eyed stare, the smile and the head tilt are an effective way to make the human reach for the treat tin.

It must be love

Thoughts of:

• Oh, he must be hungry
• He so loves his tennis ball
• He must really love me — no one else looks at me with such love in their eyes

I think that's it!

It must be love.

We need to feel loved, and dogs fit that criteria. Unconditional love.

We see their behaviours as loving us.

They live with us. They play with us. They protect us. They look for us when we hide behind the shower curtain.

They must love us! They "love" us more than the humans we live with do.

Two different species

The issue can be that some people forget that we are two different species, and this can cause problems.

In clinic I've often heard this excuse for obesity: "Oh, he doesn't like dog food, so I cook him steak every day."

Unless there is a veterinary reason for the dog not to have dog food, then dog food is what they should have as their main source of calories. Yes, there are many different types of dog food, and yes, some are way better than others, but they are all designed for feeding dogs. They will be nutritionally balanced, and the amounts fed should be displayed on the packaging.

"They don't like going out in the rain." Maybe it's the owner that doesn't like going out in the rain?

Dogs become overweight from the extra treats.

The continual ball chasing causes structural injuries.

The tiny piece of toast soon becomes a whole slice.

Smaller dogs are carried around and don't get any exercise.

Working and high-drive dogs don't get taught an off switch, so they can become destructive and problematic.

Behavioural issues are ignored and put down to "an off day".

Many elements of the dog's daily life can be affected by this over-humanising. We owe it to this amazing species to respect and treat them as the incredible creatures they are. Feed them correctly, let them run and play, teach them manners and skills to cope with the life we expect them to share with us.

I love my dogs. And they love me back.

I openly admit, I love my dogs. And I like to think they love me back. In fact — YES, they DO love me back. My mental health and humanness depend on it. But I accept that they are dogs and I am human.

They are exercised in all weather. They understand manners and good behaviour. Their weight and body condition is monitored and kept at an elite-athlete level. They understand that if "mummy" is working, they have to stay in the office and sleep and not disturb me. They recall when asked, and they respect each other's space and pack identity.

We need each other for different reasons, we use each other for different reasons, and we are still independent beings who co-exist in the same daily routine. As they lie around my feet now, snoozing, stretching and sighing, I look at their perfect bodies and beautiful faces and my heart swells.

Yet I fully realise that if I was starving and dropped my last and only cheese sandwich on the floor, the effect would resemble piranhas at a feeding frenzy within seconds.

— Kate